a realization – i am fat.. (after all these years)

June 12, 2007

i’ve gained weight. a lot of it. i’m fat. i’ve always been fat. the last time i was thin was when i was 11 years old. that was 14 years ago. i was fat in form 1, fat still in form 3, even fatter in form 5 (because i stopped playing hockey altogether for spm), still fat during matrix, remain fat during uni years, and today, i’m still fat. in fact i’m fatter than i was in december 2006. i’ve gained like, 3 kg? damn ..

i realized i’m fat and that i’ve gained even more weight, but everytime i feel like going for a jog (i can jog before, now i’m not sure), i stay there at my workstation and started to do the job i should’ve finished in the afternoon. then i said to myself : “why didn’t i finished this in the damn afternoon?”

it’s my own fault that i’m fat. i used to pretend that i’m just another big boned woman with extra fat here and there, but today i accept the truth, I’M FAT. i need to control my eating, i need to exercise more. perhaps the idea of moving to a house at the 4th floor and has no lift is a good idea. forced exercise. that’s what i need. i need to discipline myself!



  1. aimi….
    aku sokong umah tingkat 4 drpd umah yg ade guard n lif.

  2. mi..let’s exercise together-gether…

  3. oren, mind you, rumah tingkat 4 dekat dgn rumah stalker kau .. muehmueh .. hari2 balik keje panjat tangger takpe, tapi kalau time balik outstation, seksa! jom exercise … in the shopping complexes!

  4. You are very hard on yourself. It isn’t a matter of discipline. It’s a matter of treating yourself with love, really thinking about what would make you happy, and building some healthy habits.
    Try going for a five minute walk everyday. That’s all. Five minutes. And everytime you do that, smile and tell yourself that you did a great job. You will build the habit and start treating yourself more gently.
    Start looking at healthy habits as a good thing that you are doing for yourself.
    Be gentle.
    If you want to sign up for my free monthly newsletter, and receive my list of “100 Healthy Things to do in Fifteen Minutes” ( People love this list!)go to http://www.dianafletcher.com
    I care about people’s health and happiness and I work with people on those issues all the time.
    You can feel better. Treat yourself in a kinder way—you are worth it! 🙂

  5. Please see my current post at


    for a look at the way this problem can progress.

    This is the most insidious of afflictions, because it is about becoming addicted to the satisfaction of a natural bodily need, not some artificially-created drug. I believe your realization today is the first step toward your dealing with the problem.

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