a realization – i am fat.. (after all these years)June 12, 2007
i’ve gained weight. a lot of it. i’m fat. i’ve always been fat. the last time i was thin was when i was 11 years old. that was 14 years ago. i was fat in form 1, fat still in form 3, even fatter in form 5 (because i stopped playing hockey altogether for spm), still fat during matrix, remain fat during uni years, and today, i’m still fat. in fact i’m fatter than i was in december 2006. i’ve gained like, 3 kg? damn ..
i realized i’m fat and that i’ve gained even more weight, but everytime i feel like going for a jog (i can jog before, now i’m not sure), i stay there at my workstation and started to do the job i should’ve finished in the afternoon. then i said to myself : “why didn’t i finished this in the damn afternoon?”
it’s my own fault that i’m fat. i used to pretend that i’m just another big boned woman with extra fat here and there, but today i accept the truth, I’M FAT. i need to control my eating, i need to exercise more. perhaps the idea of moving to a house at the 4th floor and has no lift is a good idea. forced exercise. that’s what i need. i need to discipline myself!