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” Always On Your Side “

March 1, 2007

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin’ all the traces of the man you thought I’d be
Leavin’ me with no place left to go from here
Leavin’ me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn’t how it’s really meant to be
No it isn’t how it’s really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I’m left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I’m always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn’t how it’s really meant to be
No it isn’t how it’s really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin’ me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

“this is a song for my first ex, or rather “almost-my-boyfriend-but-before-ever-becoming-my-boyfriend-he-already-is-somebody-else’s-boyriend-so-in-a-way-he’s-my-ex”. I was not, and still am not sure about my feelings for him. he was kind, passionate, caring, wonderful, bring joy to my life and those sort of things, everything i ever wanted in a soul-mate (except that he dumped me before anything.. sucks ..) When we “broke-up” (u can call it that), i hate him that i shrink into a world where no other man should recognize me and try to cheer me up for nothing anymore. They say “first cut is the deepest”, and i say it’s true. It hurts so much that i don’t give myself a chance to try falling in love that deeply again (afraid i’d be wounded again ..). But no matter how much it hurts, i still couldn’t hate him enough to finally forget him, let bygone be bygone and forgive .. if he ever come back to me, i think i’ll give him a chance .. maybe .. but not likely .. exactly, what crap am i writing??? lol

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