i want to write something, but yesterday all my pent – up anger have been lashed to the ever – understanding FishFish .. ( take note that i was not mad at her, i was just mad at the world in general, and she just happenned to be there and so, she had to listen ) anyway FishFish, thank you for listening .. so here’s something from your blog ( again i copy heh!) 

 1. Does anyone know your password?
[some password everybody knows, some don't]

2. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
[nugget set with Diet coke .. so much for diet ..]

3. Are you an emotional person?
[very.. and always ..]

4. Do you like your name?
[hehe .. kind of .. but always berangan of having other names as well .. like Claudia huhu ..]

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
[yes .. but love hurts ..]

6. Ever felt jealous of your friend?
[like, all the time??]

7. What was the last thing you did?
[spoke to the guy my friend admires .. hehe .. sure she terbakar one if she knows this ..]

8. Who’s next to you?
[right now, no one .. but i wish brat pitt is here .. ]

9. Who was the last person you ate with?
[Cachah, FishFish, Noleeleelee, K.Lizariana ..]

10. What song are you listening to right now?
[Dewi by Dewa 19]

11. How’s the weather right now?
[it's very cloudy .. about to rain, anytime soon ..]

12. Last person you called today?
[i texted lots of people but called none ..]

14. Last song you sang?
[Dewi by Dewa 19, i'm crazy about this song ..]

15. Last time you danced?
[last night kuikui ..]

16. Lost a friendship over something stupid?
[if you called 'boys' as stupid, then yessssss ...]

18. Last thing you ate?
[kacang .. my clerk sold it for 50 cents per packet (n_n)]

19. Been really depressed before?
[yesssss ..]

20. Faked being sick to miss school?
[never had a chance - i went to a boarding school .. ]

21. What time did you wake up today?
[7.30am, even lazier than FishFish]

22. Current taste?
[taste?? errrr ... handsome, bad boy???]

23. Who is the person that posted this survey?????
[FishFish, again ..]

24. What are you wearing right now?
[office wear - baju kurung le ..]

25. Are you too shy to ask anyone out?
[YESSSSS .. (take note : capital YES)]

26. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
[if their looks / face matched their height and shoulder - width?? if they're my type ??]

27. Where are you right now??
[office]

Yesterday .. All my Troubles Seems So far Away ..

a memoir of a April 24th nite :

 7.00 pm : went to alamanda to accompany FishFish for breakfasting.. Noleeleelee was also there. Eat nothing but guava and laichee kang, then mengidam for something else .. but in the end didn’t really buy anything, because Noleeleelee suggested i go home and ‘kapit aiskrim’.. u know what, i did went home afterward and kapit aiskrim and makan .. yummy! (kapit aiskrim means : ice cream sandwiched between two waffles .. )

8.30 : arrived at home, planning to watch korean drama Which Star Are You From, but Rina conquered the TV first, so i backed off .. retired to my room and iron DPA batik to wear to office tomorrow ..

9.30 : UGLY BETTY on air! i could never miss Ugly Betty because i lurve the series so much!Poor Daniel Meade .. I hate Sophia Reyes! I understand that a woman has to be strong, independent, but to dump a man on TV?? That is so NOT cool! It’s degrading! I don’t like Daniel to flirt, tut tut then left either, but to dump a man ( as adorable as Daniel) is just so .. inhumane! U already got the man hooked up with you ( i mean it’s not easy to get a man to commit to a marriage, especially man like Daniel) but she managed it ( be it 60 days, 600 days, whatever), it is already an accomplishment.. Plus, Daniel was so serious .. That was the first time he really ever fall in love, up to the extent of ready to settle down .. Okay, i know it’s just fictional, but i can’t help but feel sorry for Daniel and hate Sophia Reyes .. But i really ADORE Amanda in the end, u know .. she ‘belasah’ SOPHIA ! I love it when someone stood up for the people they love, no matter if the love is unrequitted or what .. WAY TO GO AMANDA!

10.30 : Desperate Housewive – i never watch the 1st season .. but i guess i get the whole plot .. i won’t say i really love it, but i guess it was okay. I love the conflict .. it’s something we have to deal with eveyday, u know, annoying neighbours, ex of husband, ex boyfriend, two – timing boyfriend, mate – poachers, egoistic partner, bla bla bla ..

11.30 : went to bed .. so tired today!

 *actually, there no moral of the story .. just something to scribble .. huhu ..

A Breakfast To Remember ..

Actually, I have quite a bundle of reports to finish by tomorrow morning, but right now I’m living in a state of denial, and you know what, ignorance is such a bliss .. I still have all night to do my reports, considering I have watched all the necessary CSIs of the week (n_n) .. So for now, I’ll concentrate on drafting my blog entry .. 

I HAD A GREAT MORNING! Breakfast is always the best time in my daily life, especially when the breakfast is shared with cherished friends. Today’s breakfast anyway, we had it at a faraway place haha .. Sani-Hiro san took us to Klang (wow, breakfast at 50 km away from home huhu ..) on EllyaMasyrik san’s suggestion to try a Kopitiam there .. I suspect he’s trying to cheer us up after the Bangi Kopitiam incident. Needless to say, we had a sumptuous breakfast. We practically order like everything they had to offer at the restaurant. And we (with the exception of the still ‘mamai’ MidesMidesMides) ate as if we had been fasting without breakfasting for two straight days .. We really live up to the expectation of the advertisement: “We Must Eat Rice” .. Or should I change it to “We Must Eat Rice Lemak”?? 

I’m not writing to comment on the service or the food deliciousness or if there’s a hot waiter (by the way, there’s none sob sob ..) or anything, I just want to reflect on the joy I feel when I spend time with my friends. These people bring a smile to my face, they make me laugh, they let me drive their car (today I drive Sani-Hiro san’s ‘BMW’ fuuuyoooo!), they treat me breakfast (again, Sani-Hiro san always pays .. he’s the richest of us all, arigato!), they give us free movie passes (Cachah thanks, I love you! – even though I rarely make use of the passes), they let us watch TV (especially AF) at their house (MidesMidesMides and Noleeleelee .. ur TV big and nice one .. thanks!; Cachah, next time I go to your house dun forget the ‘teh wangi’ ok?), they let us crash and sleep-over at their houses (again MidesMidesMides .. ur room is hot by the way (;p) ) .. and many, many more .. I am much happier with them even though my real self prefers the solitary and the quietness of my own space ..  

It always makes me wonder actually, these people have done so much for me, but what have I done for them? Take them to the zoo and museum? Sigh .. Poor them to stuck with me ..

By the way, this entry was actually written two days ago .. so just pretend that u are reading this on sunday morning hehe ..

LEO – The Lion ( an excerpts from fish fish blog)
Great talker(NO ..)

Attractive and passionate (Errrr ….)

Laid back( u can say that ..)

Knows how to have fun (my definition of fun is actually totally different from other human being i suppose ..) 

Is really good at almost anything (this is however, a total B*&#Sh%t)

Great kisser (waiting to discover this new talent ..ahahaha ..) 

Unpredictable (actually, it’s a no for this statement)

Outgoing (not really … enjoy going out shopping yessss …) 

Down to earth ( actually, SHY ..) 

Addictive (errr .. to what? handsome, bad boys??)

Attractive( i thot attractive was already mentioned before ..)

Loud (if you mean my voice, well, yes) 

Loves being in long relationships ( i want my relationship to be forever, not just long ..)

  Talkative (i’m not BECOK, if that’s what u mean ..)

Not one to mess with (ABSOLUTELY!) 

Rare to find (Oh i’m sure u see my face around, all the time ..)

Good when found (Of course hehe …)

 echah asked me to update but seriously, i have no idea whatsoever .. anyway, just now i read a blog about a man and his girlfriend’s perspective on their relationship. The boyfriend thinks the girlfriend was so insecure about herself, and the girlfriend thinks that the boyfriend was so insensitive about her needs. they both got the wrong idea but to cut it short, the relationship survive the perspective ..

the thing is, when i read this, it crossed my mind that, this is me actually. this is what i always think when i fall in love with a man or just have a crush on him .. i wouldn’t dare to take the next step forward because i think he’s too good for me, and i will never be enough for him. so i stopped .. and this insecurity syndrom, has never been cured .. not that i have no confidence in myself, but i’d like to think that my looks would never attract anybody to get to know me .. maybe if they can see the real me ( and can stand my swinging moods, my ignorance, my addiction to tv series) they will like me .. but they have to start to get to know me, i won’t open up voluntarily .. i just won’t ..

and in the blog, the man said that he couldn’t understand the girlfriend. one of the reason is that he doesn’t speak ‘womanese’.. nice word by the way .. anyway, i think he has the right to feel that way because women are creatures that were created solely not to be understood. i’m sure everyone understand that. but i can tell you, most women still want men who make them feel cherished, loved and protected. i for myself, would like that. but apart from that, there are women who wants the freedom to whatever it is they want to, whenever, whereever, with whoever .. they are just not the type to settle down, at least not until they realized that they’re aging, has lots and lots of money but don’t have anyone to give the money to .. i don’t know in which category i fall into .. i guess both .. i want my man to love me, to protect me, to cherished me, but i still want my space, and i will give him space ( just don’t cheat with the space given!)  and time. Translation :

1. send me a message but it doesn’t have to be something silly like ” dah makan?” every single meal time (breakfast brunch lunch tea dinner supper) .. i’ll let u know if i want to tell you .. but once in a while is okay (n_n) and don’t ask “dah tido?” when it’s 1 in the morning .. huh ..

2. send me flowers on special days .. i don’t mind any flowers as long as they’re not bunge tahi ayam hehe .. it’s better to give me a suprise kekeke .. I LOVE SUPRISES!

3. have faith in me ( trust that i will never cheat him .. because i never will ..) but it’s okay to be jealous once in a while .. i like it when my man says he’s jealous of something or someone related to me, it shows he cares .. but to always be jealous is a pain in the @s$ also ..

actually, there are a lot more .. but i don’t want to continue with this crap .. because it’s a crap haha .. tabah!

 exactly, what crap am i writing?

copied and pasted from fish fish’d blog :

 Is your birthday day 25 of the month?  

Your Life
You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You
always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will
eventually bring you success.

Your Love
You adore your partner as the number one priority. You valu your love one
more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential
to get married young.

(married young?? how young is young? i hope 28 or 30 is considered young .. huhu …)

I will NOT be NICE – BANGI KOPITIAM s*#@s!

I don’t want to be a Malay critic who criticize another Malay, but i just had a terrible experience with a relatively new Malay restaurant (name as mentioned above ..) they totally s*#$s! For a start, a general rule for a kedai makan owner, “don’t ever get the customer/s pissed off over BREAKFAST”.. we (the customer) were very hungry in the morning and were looking forward for a nice, if not very delicious breakfast, but what is good breakfast without an excellent service?? In our case, we don’t even get an excellent service, but better yet, a “very mediocre (to the core, mind you!) service”. we had to wait for like 10 minutes ( thousands of signal had been given to all the waiters in between sitting down and have a waiter came to our assistance), but when he came to our table, he took the remaining dishes away, then we waited for another 2 minutes for him to bring our menus, then another 2 minutes for him to wipe clean the tables, than another minute for him to take our order (and that is after he took the order from the next table, who came 10 minutes latter than us, but the girl is a little hotter than us 3 combined ..). Total operation time for order taking : 15 minutes. and that torturing 15 minutes, we had to endure another tprture of waiting for like 29 minutes before our first order arrived in the form of the toast. The taste, well, oookkaaayyy laaaa … then after 5 minutes our iced coffee arrived, and then 1 waiter came and said : “kak order nasik lemak rendang ayam 2 ye? rendang ayam dah abis.. sotong nak?” macam HARAM! chahchahchah (bukan nama sebenar ..) and midesmidesmides (juga bukan nama sebenar) was so pissed off, that they instantly feel like going back to their hometown and eat mom’s nasik lemak! they lost their appetite and refused to eat anything else .. i waited for my other order, that is the half-boiled egg, and it still hasn’t materialized even after 40 minutes .. i wonder, does it really takes like an hour to HALF-BOIL the egg? so, we left, FAST AND FURIOUS .. (drift drift drift .. background music ..).. and later end up here, in San Fransisco Pizza, Bangi, where the waiter came to our assistance almost immediately the moment we step inside the restaurant, helped us with the wifi connection and served fast, and delicious dishes of lasagna and pizza .. all in all, the Malays (or rather, this particular Malay) has to learn more about how to run a successfull business, collect a bunch of loyal customer and most of all, give a lasting good first impression(in terms of interior decor, friendliness of staff, excellent and warm service and palatable food and coffee). You didn’t give any to us, and sorry, we definitely are not going back to your premise!

“Not Ready To Make Nice”

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waitingI’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

This is a song by dixie chicks .. not that i love the song for the lyrics, but i do love the solo’s voice. she’s wonderful ..

(actually, echah asked me to update my blog, but frankly, i have absolutely no idea whatsoever about what to write ..)

last night, i slept at 2 am, because i watched this movie entitled MUNICH .. starring eric bana and my abe Daniel Craig ( Bro Danny was just a supporter actor, sadly .. but nevertheless .. he rocks!) .. MUNICH was filmed based on a true tragedy happenned in 1972 Olympic Games in Germany, where 11 Israelis atheles were murdered by, i dun know, didn’t really ctach that part. It went on to show how the MOSSAD (the Israel Intelligence) track down the assasins and ‘erased’ them, sort of. I have no comment on the movie, but i want to say, i’m reading the chronology of the event in the internet, now .. just to get the idea, again .. i’m going back to my reading, so, see ya!

i had just realized that sufi has tagged ( what is tag dude?? somebody help!) and had given out the rules that each of us (the tagged one) has to list down si6 weird things about ourself. what weird thing? i think i’m normal .. but to please u sufi, here are si6 weird things about me (or so i think …)

 1. i’m a lazybum when i’m in my rental-house ( be it equine park, vista pinggiran or presint 9) – but i’m not that lazy back in my hometown .. dun mind cooking, washing the dishes, washing and folding the clothes, but here in selangor kuala lumpur i am a total ‘town girl’ .. i found the chore of taking the bundle of clothes to the washing machine as – a muscle torture ..kuikui ..

 2. all of my shoes (most of them) are black even though before i go shopping i had already make a resolution of buying shoes other than black .. black goes with everything, no arguments there!

3.  i have to have breakfast every morning before 9 or i’ll go shivering all over and couldn’t think of anything but food .. actually, i think about food too during lunch time and dinner hehehe ..

4.  i spend 3 dedicated years studying computer science, but only come to discover things like thumb drive, cd writer, anti-virus and stuff like 1 or 2 years back .. i found out about blog like, 3 months ago??? i sucks ..

5.  i couldn’t leave any of my book unwrapped .. in fact i can’t see a book (bought, not the library’s one) unwrapped and make it a habit to wrap the book i read, even though it’s not mine …

6.  i have a habit of buying every interesting-looking book, but reading like half of the book, wrap it, and stack it nicely on the shelves .. hehe ..

 am i weird? i don’t think so .. but the computer science student may find me weird and a total shame of the UPM-Kejut-Perisian gang, a biblioholic (ask ezdwan razak) may find me totally wasting my money on books i didn’t finish reading, but a dietician will praise me for never skipping my breakfast (until they found out that my breakfast usually consists of nasi lemak (sikit), kuih (3 bijik) and nescafe .. not very healthy, eh?)

I Carry Your Heart With Me ..

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywherei go you go,my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing

is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;

which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) I think that i have a thing with this thing, or rather word, spelled HEART .. i love the movie HEART, and this poem (by E. E. Cummings) is also about heart. well what to do, didn’t i say i am jiwang? anyway, yesterday i watched a movie on starworld (channel 42) – In Her Shoes. My hobby (which was iniatally reading –> already changed to hanging around in book stores) has provided me with a lot of opportunity to come accross this novel entitled In Her Shoes, written by Jenifer Weiner. But i was never interested to buy a copy of it, until the movie was out. And i still didn’t buy the novel, and i didn’t watched the movie either. I was just crazy about it, without knowing a single thing about it, except that it was about two sisters having nothing at all in common except the same shoe size.if i had gone and watched it in the cinema, i think i would have fallen asleep right in the middle of it. But watching it on a smaller screen, it was just like another touching, lovely family drama with hot, boozy and superb actresses in it. Toni Collette played Rose, the elder sister, a successful lawyer who has almost everything except a hot bod and celebrity-like-face and a stable relationship. Maggie on the other hand (played by Cameron Diaz .. man she’s hot!) was hot, beautiful, popular, cheerleader-type of a woman but has done nothing to be proud of in her life (no job, plenty of boyfriend, u can call her a S_ _ T (in Malaysia it is pronounce tut tut tut …)). Rose was always the protective one, while Maggie was always the troubled one, but their and bonding relationship was so strong that they were each other’s best friend and sworn enemy too. Until an incident grow them apart from each other, then they realized that no matter how different they are from each other, they are not complete without the other. Needless to say, I cried at the end of the movie! sob sob sob …looking back, i matched it with my own sister – sister relationship. me and my sisters actually have quite a lot in common, if not everything – same kind of music, like sewing (sometimes), like TV a lot, like all types of bangles, rings, bags – but we are not very close, at all. i don’t even know if my sisters have boyfriends, or what their spm grades were, if they are not feeling well, their hobbies, their favourite colours, their favourite movies, bla bla bla … is our relationship a dysfunctional one? i don’t know. i don’t hate my sister, i never do, it’s just that they are not that close in my heart as my friends are. Perhaps because i spend most of my times with my friends? i want to bring us a lot closer too, but everytime we were together, we just ran out of idea about what to talk.. hmmmm …

 * this a an entry from my old blog .. just copying it here for everybody else to read and share .. enjoy!